Antibooze

  • Antibooze 
    By Aaron Smith 
    INT. BAR - NIGHT
    JOHN and JEFF are sitting at a raised bar table.
    JEFF
    And thats when I said; you know what buddy? Keep your fancy tractor, I'm gonna shuck my own damn corn from now on.
    JOHN (laughing)
    Aw hell yeah, I'll drink to that.
    JOHN and JEFF cheers with their large glasses of BEER. They take a deep drink followed by a heavy sigh. JOHN's eyes  fall on the near empty glass in his hand as he adopts a quizzical look.
    JEFF
    I think I'll have another shot.
    JOHN
    Another one? Remember what  happened last time?
    JEFF
    Nope.
    JOHN
    My point exactly. Look at us, we  don't have a good time unless  we're drunk. Then we can't  remember it!
    JEFF
    There is one thing I remember; the hangover.
    JOHN
    I hear ya on that one man.
    JEFF
    Well hey, at least the girls get better looking.
    JOHN
    Yeah, but is that really such a great thing?
    JEFF
    Not in the morning its not.
    JOHN
    Right right. Hey, why'd we even start drinking in the first place?
    JEFF
    I don't know man, it used to taste like ass but everyone was doing it.
    JOHN
    Peer pressure, that's what it was.
    JEFF
    OK, so alchohol isn't perfect, but what else is there?

    A Cheesy commercial sounding voice speaks to JEFF and JOHN 
    from the ceiling.
     
    ANNOUNCER
    Are you tired of BORING old alcohol?
    JOHN
    What was that?
     
    JOHN and JEFF look inquisitively at the ceiling.
    ANNOUNCER
    With all of its bitter taste and BAD decisions?
    JEFF
    Who are you?
    ANNOUNCER
    Well not anymore! introducing: ANTIBOOZE!
    JEFF
    Answer the damn question.
    JOHN AND JEFF look down to see that their standard beer 
    bottles have been replaced with bottles of ANTIBOOZE.
    JOHN
    Whoa, what the?
    ANNOUNCER
    Antibooze, the only drink with completely opposite effects to 
    regular booze!
    JEFF
    Hey barkeep, I think your speaker 
    system is broken or something.
     
    The bartender casually shrugs. JOHN takes a drink.
    JOHN
    Hey, try it, its pretty good.
    Jeff takes a drink.

    JEFF
    Hell yeah it is!
     
    INT. BAR - NIGHT
    A montage sequence begins.

    ANNOUNCER
    Drink ANTIBOOZE for better decisions!
    JOHN sees a nearby intoxicated bar patron stumble towards 
    the door, keys in hand.
    JOHN
    Halt for a moment kind stranger, I can't let you drive in this condition, let me call you a cab. The bartender plays a cup scramble game with JEFF, who selects the correct cup.

    ANNOUNCER
    Enhanced memory.
    JOHN
    Oh but yes, if you recall, World War I began with the assassination of archduke Franz Ferdinand by Serbian Nationalist Gavrilo Princip.
    JEFF
    I know, I was Gavrio's best friend in a past life, the textbooks don't ever tell ya he had a soft spot for poetry.
    ANNOUNCER
    Improved motor skills.
    JOHN successfully connects his index fingers at arms length on the first try. A look of shock and awe spreads across his face. JEFF Juggles 5 ANTIBOOZE bottles simultaneously.
    ANNOUNCER
    And those tricky women? Soon, they'll have to be buying YOU the drinks.
    JOHN eyes a foxy lady from across the bar. He takes a sip of ANTIBOOZE and looks back up to find she's become significantly less attractive. JEFF leaves the bar under a girls arm.

    EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY
    JOHN and JEFF wake up in a gutter, each wearing finely pressed suits and talking in British accents.

    JEFF
    (yawn) Do you recall the events of yesterday evening? I certainly do!
    JOHN
    Absolutely dear friend, and I feel GREAT, we must be experiencing a...
    JEFF & JOHN
    HANG-UNDER! 
    (both laugh) 
    Jeff and John Hi-five and walk out of the alleyway side by side.
  • John Brock and Jeff tab take their place in the dumpster behind the Yamasaki Building at the College for Creative Studies in Detroit, MI.
  • Crew

    Director - Aaron Smith
    Camera #1 - Aaron Smith
    Camera #2 - Mike Nowaczyk
    Camera #3 - Brian Wahler
    Audio CCS - James Montour
    Audio Bar - Adam Gac
    Faculty Adviser - Scott Northrup 
    Cast

    Guy at left - Jeff Tabb
    Guy at Right - John Brock
    Girl at table - Emily Nummer
    Boozevision Girl - John Brock