Antibooze
By Aaron Smith
INT. BAR - NIGHT
JOHN and JEFF are sitting at a raised bar table.
JOHN and JEFF are sitting at a raised bar table.
JEFF
And thats when I said; you know what buddy? Keep your fancy tractor, I'm gonna shuck my own damn corn from now on.
And thats when I said; you know what buddy? Keep your fancy tractor, I'm gonna shuck my own damn corn from now on.
JOHN (laughing)
Aw hell yeah, I'll drink to that.
Aw hell yeah, I'll drink to that.
JOHN and JEFF cheers with their large glasses of BEER. They take a deep drink followed by a heavy sigh. JOHN's eyes fall on the near empty glass in his hand as he adopts a quizzical look.
JEFF
I think I'll have another shot.
I think I'll have another shot.
JOHN
Another one? Remember what happened last time?
Another one? Remember what happened last time?
JEFF
Nope.
Nope.
JOHN
My point exactly. Look at us, we don't have a good time unless we're drunk. Then we can't remember it!
My point exactly. Look at us, we don't have a good time unless we're drunk. Then we can't remember it!
JEFF
There is one thing I remember; the hangover.
There is one thing I remember; the hangover.
JOHN
I hear ya on that one man.
I hear ya on that one man.
JEFF
Well hey, at least the girls get better looking.
Well hey, at least the girls get better looking.
JOHN
Yeah, but is that really such a great thing?
Yeah, but is that really such a great thing?
JEFF
Not in the morning its not.
Not in the morning its not.
JOHN
Right right. Hey, why'd we even start drinking in the first place?
Right right. Hey, why'd we even start drinking in the first place?
JEFF
I don't know man, it used to taste like ass but everyone was doing it.
I don't know man, it used to taste like ass but everyone was doing it.
JOHN
Peer pressure, that's what it was.
Peer pressure, that's what it was.
JEFF
OK, so alchohol isn't perfect, but what else is there?
OK, so alchohol isn't perfect, but what else is there?
A Cheesy commercial sounding voice speaks to JEFF and JOHN
from the ceiling.
ANNOUNCER
Are you tired of BORING old alcohol?
Are you tired of BORING old alcohol?
JOHN
What was that?
What was that?
JOHN and JEFF look inquisitively at the ceiling.
ANNOUNCER
With all of its bitter taste and BAD decisions?
With all of its bitter taste and BAD decisions?
JEFF
Who are you?
Who are you?
ANNOUNCER
Well not anymore! introducing: ANTIBOOZE!
Well not anymore! introducing: ANTIBOOZE!
JEFF
Answer the damn question.
Answer the damn question.
JOHN AND JEFF look down to see that their standard beer
bottles have been replaced with bottles of ANTIBOOZE.
bottles have been replaced with bottles of ANTIBOOZE.
JOHN
Whoa, what the?
Whoa, what the?
ANNOUNCER
Antibooze, the only drink with completely opposite effects to
regular booze!
Antibooze, the only drink with completely opposite effects to
regular booze!
JEFF
Hey barkeep, I think your speaker
system is broken or something.
Hey barkeep, I think your speaker
system is broken or something.
The bartender casually shrugs. JOHN takes a drink.
JOHN
Hey, try it, its pretty good.
Jeff takes a drink.
JEFF
Hell yeah it is!
Hey, try it, its pretty good.
Jeff takes a drink.
JEFF
Hell yeah it is!
INT. BAR - NIGHT
A montage sequence begins.
ANNOUNCER
Drink ANTIBOOZE for better decisions!
JOHN sees a nearby intoxicated bar patron stumble towards
the door, keys in hand.
the door, keys in hand.
JOHN
Halt for a moment kind stranger, I can't let you drive in this condition, let me call you a cab. The bartender plays a cup scramble game with JEFF, who selects the correct cup.
Halt for a moment kind stranger, I can't let you drive in this condition, let me call you a cab. The bartender plays a cup scramble game with JEFF, who selects the correct cup.
ANNOUNCER
Enhanced memory.
JOHN
Oh but yes, if you recall, World War I began with the assassination of archduke Franz Ferdinand by Serbian Nationalist Gavrilo Princip.
Oh but yes, if you recall, World War I began with the assassination of archduke Franz Ferdinand by Serbian Nationalist Gavrilo Princip.
JEFF
I know, I was Gavrio's best friend in a past life, the textbooks don't ever tell ya he had a soft spot for poetry.
I know, I was Gavrio's best friend in a past life, the textbooks don't ever tell ya he had a soft spot for poetry.
ANNOUNCER
Improved motor skills.
Improved motor skills.
JOHN successfully connects his index fingers at arms length on the first try. A look of shock and awe spreads across his face. JEFF Juggles 5 ANTIBOOZE bottles simultaneously.
ANNOUNCER
And those tricky women? Soon, they'll have to be buying YOU the drinks.
And those tricky women? Soon, they'll have to be buying YOU the drinks.
JOHN eyes a foxy lady from across the bar. He takes a sip of ANTIBOOZE and looks back up to find she's become significantly less attractive. JEFF leaves the bar under a girls arm.
EXT. ALLEYWAY - DAY
JOHN and JEFF wake up in a gutter, each wearing finely pressed suits and talking in British accents.
JEFF
(yawn) Do you recall the events of yesterday evening? I certainly do!
JOHN and JEFF wake up in a gutter, each wearing finely pressed suits and talking in British accents.
JEFF
(yawn) Do you recall the events of yesterday evening? I certainly do!
JOHN
Absolutely dear friend, and I feel GREAT, we must be experiencing a...
Absolutely dear friend, and I feel GREAT, we must be experiencing a...
JEFF & JOHN
HANG-UNDER!
HANG-UNDER!
(both laugh)
Jeff and John Hi-five and walk out of the alleyway side by side.
John Brock and Jeff tab take their place in the dumpster behind the Yamasaki Building at the College for Creative Studies in Detroit, MI.
Crew
Director - Aaron Smith
Camera #1 - Aaron Smith
Camera #2 - Mike Nowaczyk
Camera #3 - Brian Wahler
Audio CCS - James Montour
Audio Bar - Adam Gac
Faculty Adviser - Scott Northrup
Camera #1 - Aaron Smith
Camera #2 - Mike Nowaczyk
Camera #3 - Brian Wahler
Audio CCS - James Montour
Audio Bar - Adam Gac
Faculty Adviser - Scott Northrup
Cast
Guy at left - Jeff Tabb
Guy at Right - John Brock
Girl at table - Emily Nummer
Boozevision Girl - John Brock
Guy at Right - John Brock
Girl at table - Emily Nummer
Boozevision Girl - John Brock
